One of the biggest misconceptions about what we are trying to achieve is that we must sit at home doing absolutely nothing so that we can save enough for our aims. In fact, in order to do what we are trying to, surely we are missing out on the present?
But, deprivation is not part of the journey.
Wouldn’t it be daft if, in order to save enough money, we actually did sit in and do nothing all of the time? If, in order to pay our future selves well, we had to sacrifice our present in order to do so?
I recently had the opportunity to do an advert with a well known energy company, which included shots of both Mr FC and the Frugal Baby as well. One of the comments about the clip was that it wasn’t fair on the Frugal Baby because he would miss out. What was ironic about this is that in the clip shown, our little boy was sat playing on his play mat, surrounded by toys, all of which we were given or bought second hand. He certainly isn’t missing out so far.
We are not about depriving ourselves through this process.
As summer is finally here (and the weather is, at last, warm!) it can be very easy to find costs creeping up. Days out here and there, lunch at the local cafe and a couple of ice creams thrown in the mix (mint choc chip is my fave!) and suddenly you’ve spent quite a bit of money. But, as with everything we do, a little bit of planning can help massively with keeping down costs without feeling like you’re deprived of something. Going for a picnic and taking lunch with you can save money. Looking for free or cheap days out can save money.
Feeling like you are being deprived of something will only harbour resentment and then possibly a blow out. This is definitely the case when you are starting out on your savings journey.
Going out for a meal is a lovely treat, and one that should be treated as such. Going out to a restaurant can quickly become expensive, especially when you factor in the starter/pudding/drinks that are added to the bill, and all of a sudden a meal out can easily top £100 without much effort. But, chains especially quite often have deals on and two for one on mains. If you research before you go, you can get vouchers that easily reduce your spends, so you don’t have to go without! I recently got an email from a pizza chain offer 2-for-1 breakfasts, so me and Mr FC are going to go soon for a treat. Remember, deprivation isn’t part of the journey.
Going shopping and buying items isn’t off limits either. Although we rarely buy new clothes and gadgets, we do occasionally wander into the shops! What I try and do, though it doesn’t always work, is if I like an item of clothing, I try it on in person in the shop first. If it then fits alright, then I put it back! When I get home, I check to see if I can get any cashback for purchasing the item first. I either go through TopCashback or Quidco and earn some extra pennies on something I was going to purchase anyway. That way, I still get to treat myself to a new item of clothing, but I’m adding to my cashback pot too. Win win!
I also think that by our very nature, we do not find that much joy in spending money mindlessly. It isn’t about depriving ourselves, it’s about spending money on the things that matter most. We never feel like we are missing out on anything, because we are choosing to do this. When we choose to spend money, which is more often that I’d like sometimes, we are doing so with the decision in our hands, rather than being forced or coerced into spending by the society we live in.
There is a balance to be found, in terms of spending and saving. There is nothing exciting or motivating about not spending a penny and making your life more of a survival existence, or scraping and scrimping to save everything. But, neither is there anything exciting about continuously spending money on the latest xyz. There has to be your own balance between wants and needs, and having a goal in mind will help you establish what these are.
Being frugal has helped us find our own balance, between spending money, saving money, and enjoying life at the same time. I can honestly say that being confident in our own money management skills and optimising every penny that goes in and own means a certain assurance that everything will be alright. We are living our lives the best way we can, creating memories we can treasure for a lifetime and being able to not worry about money is one of the best things we are trying to give ourselves.
We still have our little luxuries, things that we feel we cannot go without, but they are few and far between. I’m currently investing in my own future, by joining and paying to go Slimming World each week, to help me lose weight and become more healthy. We have two Frugal Cats who, whilst aren’t expensive, are worth every penny we spend on them. I buy fresh fruit and veg each week, which are bumping up our grocery bill but I won’t compromise on that. We go on days out, walking in the countryside and often incorporate a lunch stop into that. These are all little luxuries that we don’t do without even though some of these could be debated as wants as not needs. But, remember, deprivation is not part of the journey!
What are the little luxuries you can’t do without? Is there anything you could cut from your budget and not feel deprived?
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Hmm good skin care is something I don’t compromise on (but save a certain shops points to pay towards it! Dr Wytch buys his contact lens stuff and I get free skin care lol), happy to go without expensive restaurant meals, the local pub does us proud if we want to eat out!
A good skincare routine is a good investment, I think 🙂
Excellent post. I am starting my frugal journey and avoiding resentment (without spending much) is the most difficult exercise for me ! Like in everything, balance really IS key !
Balance really is key!
Coffee…my daily trip to Costa resulted in me marrying the manager! Definitely a good return on my investment and a very bright future ahead of us both to enjoy x
That definitely worked out for you! 😀
I don’t deprive myself of things or services as I believe a healthy financial life is about balance, not deprivation.
Balance is definitely key!
There are times I feel like I’m scrimping too much, and then there are times when I revel in what our decisions have bought us. It can be hard for me to see the bigger picture all of the time.
That said, we still enjoy a lot of things that we COULD cut, like a yearly week at the beach. When I’m feeling extra sorry for myself, I try to remember the treats we’ve chosen.
I struggle to see the bigger picture too, at times. A yearly week at the beach sounds lovely 🙂
I love this whole post, but resuscitator the clothing tip! Going to have to start using it myself. Buying online is so hard, but the savings can be big!
Let me know how you get on! 🙂
I don’t deprive myself of new clothes when I need them (making an effort to be more presentable, and I usually wait to buy till things are in shambles, which isn’t ideal), coffee, and high-quality groceries.
I had this conversation with a friend recently. I was feeling guilty for spending a weekend out and about, which included both coffee AND lunch out, because I was freelancing and couldn’t go home in the middle. She said, “What’s the point in living if you can’t take some time to have fun and spend some of the money you make?”
It was hard to explain to her – if all of our debt was paid off, I wouldn’t fret about it at all. Just take note to plan better next time. But since it’s not, I’m still feeling guilty about it a week later. And I couldn’t help but wonder – where do you draw the line? You can give yourself a break some of the time, just not all of the time.
We all need the little treats from time to time, as you need a life too 🙂
I think you guys are nailing it by keeping a balance. Most people spend mindlessly, even little things like hitting up two for one nights out are going to make a big difference in the long run.
Thank you; having a balance is definitely key!
Deprivation for me only leads to a blow out … eventually! I couldn’t agree more.
It definitely does for me! It’s a bit like dieting; if I don’t balance it well, I end up binging on chocolate…!
I also like to do picnics, and I think it’s a good example of how being frugal can mean living better. You can either pay more for a sandwich to have in a crowded cafe, or you can pack a nice picnic to enjoy in nature with a million dollar view.
Having a picnic in the park can be one of the nicest things you can do 🙂
Yes, achieving the right balance between spending, saving and investing is critical. Taking the middle road makes the most sense often.
The little luxury I’d hate to give up is morning coffee and alone time (to catch up on online stuff) at my favorite downtown restaurant/coffee shop/pub. Adorned with art and music and with the same cast of interesting characters, I love the place.
The first thing that comes to mind that I could cut from my budget and not feel deprived is cable. Working on that! We just scaled back our service to reduce cost. I’ve since found that the fewer cable channels we have available, the better I like cable. That tells me that zero channels may be optimum! 🙂
If you can afford to have your morning coffee, then I’d keep that in there 🙂
I don’t bother with cafes etc because they’re just too stressful with small children and if I’m gonna spend that sort of money I wanna enjoy it.
Things I do consider luxurious is our National Trust membership (and owning a car to get us places actually) and having my hair cut more than twice a year. I cut my kids’ and my husband’s but I don’t trust them to do mine!
I recently found a dress I loved (and it fit!). I went online and found the exact same dress, brand new, on ebay for $4 plus about $10 in shipping. So I agree with checking the shops, but then searching the internet afterwards for the coupons and the bargains!
Awesome bargain! 🙂
This is a great attitude — using less resources (in this case money) without depriving yourself. It’s the same attitude I have towards encouraging people to contribute towards altruistic causes. You can have a huge impact without any painful deprivation just by simplifying your life. Thanks for the post.
I love your approach to frugallling I’m a semi frugal let at mo but the happiest times we have as a family is when I steer is down the frugal road the adrenalin high you get of beating the system is inexplicable ! I think it’s a time thing too the less you shop the more time ther is to do the important stuff sarahxx up the frgallers
I think deprivation is not even sustainable in the long run. How long can you keep going when you are making sacrifices all the time?
A frugal life is definitely not about depriving yourself but I do understand that for other (non-frugal) people it might look like it.
We practice thoughtful budgeted spending too and saved for years so we could retire early. We retired in last few years at age 58. We never deprived ourselves. We bought clothes, cars, and did holidays and meals out and days out. We helped our daughters with house deposits, university costs and weddings and now treat our grandchildren. It was budgeted for and we got the best deals we could by downloading voucher codes, shopping around and avoiding as much waste as possible. We still do that now. From an environmental point of view I hate waste so we don’t buy tat. Quality rather than quantity and savings for things rather than borrowing and paying interest. We are also big fans of saving for everything and sell stuff we no longer use. Items which are not good enough to sell are given away on our local CRAP site, free cycled or charity shopped.
Depriving yourself for years to retire early seems mad to me and a total waste of life. Balance is the key.
Love the idea of thoughtful budgeting!
The luxuries I could not do without is my car, my local country club membership and national trust membership. I use them both lots and being retired make more use of them now than when working. I swim, go to the gym, do excercise classes and use the spa and visit the soft play with my grandchildren. All included in my country club membership which I moved to off peak now I am retired which is much cheaper. I like my trips out to Bella Italia with friends but always get voucher codes so get really good cheap nights out. Theatre trips are another luxury I would not go without but we do matinees as they are cheaper and look for discounted tickets.
I occasionally used to use coffee shops but now have a Dolce gusto machine at home which makes good coffee and is much cheaper so could do without that. I tend to keep shopping trips short and use our local park and ride and walk in to the city so that is free and good exercise too. We have sky but as I keep threatening to cancel they keep reducing the price but if they didn’t I would go without that. My husband may not be so obliging though.
I think we are selective about where we spend, we don’t have debt or a mortgage any more and we have savings and investments and a steady source of income so certainly would not deprive ourselves now in retirement.
It sounds like you’ve got a great balance 🙂
Used to take my kids to the Outlet Mall
It was a drive itself plus we ate out (fast food) while there. It made a day of it. We bought very little, if anything. It was fun looking at everything and they had some outside toys for the kids. It was more a plaza, not an actual mall. They got to ppl watch too. They loved this.
We went to libraries, book stores, play places at fast food (often we ate our lunch from home just before going in & I would buy a pop or coffee only), even the malls had play places and we would stay at it an hr or more, “playing thru” a number of groups of children lol We went to parks with playgrounds and tennis courts (thrift shop rackets and Walmart cheap balls worked fine), we had roller skates/blades and outside toys we brought that other kids would join in with. So Fun when this happened! We loooooved thrift shopping.
So.much.literally.free.kids.things.to.do. even as a single mom with very few friends. Now if u have friends to visit or have visit u, so much the better. We had tons of friends over and would go to their houses at diff points in our life too. The hostess provides (frugal) meals and the guest would bring homemade treats (snack and dessert). Even with married friends this works as our day would end before the daddy came home.
My older teens now love thrift shopping still lol
I’ve had to cut decent coffee from my budget and do feel deprived as I cut everything else so it’s my only treat. But 🤷🏼♀️
Saying I shouldnt deprive myself isnt changing the reality. I drink crappy coffee now and try to be happy theres any food in the fridge.